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Thursday, April 21, 2011

My Friend: An Essay

I didn't want to like her. I didn't want to let her in. I thought it wouldn't be worth my time to become attached. Friendships have never been my forte. I was annoyed with the situation, so therefore, I was annoyed with her. And it surely wasn't her fault! Funny...I tell PiePie that all the time...dont' be too hard on the person on the other end of the line; they didn't do it, it's just their job to try to talk to you, so be nice. And with this situation, I surely did not follow my own advice. Oh, how I've regretted it, and oh, how I wish I had enjoyed it when I had it.

We found ourselves talking one day...and I would say it sort of happened on accident, really. And we learned that we had both been caretakers of unhealthy people at very young ages, and we both understood the strength and ability it took to be able to do the jobs that we had done. She spoke with such compassion. With love. With caring. And then, I realized that she was a person, just like me, and that I needed to let her in. I don't think it was a conscious choice.

We learned throughout the days to follow that we both loved mint chocolate. That we both cherished our children above all esle. We learned that we were both lefties. We learned that we both like shoes, and that while we were very different, we were much the same. We learned that we had a sense of humor, and that we could laugh. A nd laughing over the day taht we researched Elephantitis was the day that we learned that we were both "OK". (At least, I think.) That day really opened doors for us, as we learned that neither of us were as "stuffy" as what we had been acting. We started to appreciate being together a little bit throughout the next days and weeks, and then we learned to appreciate that a lot.

We learned taht we both had had childhood friends that were irreplaceable, and both were taken from us and left us devastated, and scared to love again, for we knew that those friendships could not be replaced. We talked about how we missed those friends daily, and how we felt, and though our situations were different, they were still similar. And we agonized together, for we could feel each other's pain.

At some point throughout all of this, she became my friend; someone I couldn't go without talking to. Someone I depended on, leaned on, and cared about. We compliment each other well...she is monochromatic, I am colorful. She is somewhat quiet (until you get to know her) and I am...well...not quiet. But we are the same. We love the Lord, we cherish our families, and we care about the same things. We have a similar outlook on life, and we balance each other there. I've leaned on her in a way that I never could have imagined, through the very hardest part of my entire life; I hope she never has to lean on me that way, but she knows she can. We share the same frustrations, we love the same things. We agree to disagree, and we don't try to hide what we think or feel with each other. We are honest, even when it may not be what the other wants to hear, because we love each other.

Somewhere throughout all THAT, we learned that we couldn't go through our days without our friendship, the friendship taht started out rocky, and turned out to be just what the docrtor ordered, so to speak. She helped me heal from my past friendship heartache, and while I know I could never be a replacement to hers, I am a friend to her she thought she could never find in this lifetime. I need her friendship like I need to eat and breathe, and I need the smile she provides me. I also need the stability of knowing that no matter what, no matter where, no matter how...she is there for me. She is my friend. Friend. Yes, my friend. For life. Oh, how I love you, Friend.

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